18 Very Important Issues That Should Be In Your Divorce Parenting Plan

In matters of divorce where children are involved, most states are now requiring that parents work together to put together what’s called a Parenting Plan.

Parenting Plans are designed to detail a set of guidelines to be followed by the parents in regards to the children as relates to parenting time, extracurricular activities, schooling, religion, travel and more.

While the purpose of a detailed parenting plan is to eliminate disagreements between parents that often result in return Court appearances, seldom do the parenting plan templates used by each state cover everything.

And while it is impossible to cover every single issue that may ever arise, this article will give you tips on most of the areas that, if agreed upon or determined by the Court now, can steeply decrease your chances of return to Court any time soon.

1. Custody: The majority of states now recognize joint legal custody (retains full rights and privileges to medical, school, etc. records) with an appointed residential parent. There are a few states that have a presumption of joint legal custody and joint physical custody (50/50 split of time).
2. Parenting Time: Each parents’ time with the child(ren) should be specified by time and days. Specific holidays can be appointed to parents, alternated yearly, or divided equally. The latter should note specific exchange times.
   
   Tip: Be sure to specify when a holiday begins and when it ends. For example, many states recommend that the holiday begin at 6 p.m. on the evening prior to and end at 6 p.m. on the day of.
3. Request for Change of Parenting Time: There will be the rare occasion when one parent is unable to meet their parenting time obligation. There are several factors to take into consideration should this occur: For example:
   
   
   • How far in advance should the requesting parent notify the other parent of their intent not to exercise parenting time?
   • What constitutes a true emergency for last minute changes?
   • If the other parent incurs any expenses such as babysitter costs, is the requesting parent responsible for all or half of those costs?
   • Will make up time be allowed? If so, exchanged day for day, additional holidays, or what other method?
4. In Case of Illness: Children are going to sick, it’s just a fact of life. Parents need to decide what to do in case such an illness arises.
   
   
   • Will the sick child remain with the parent currently exercising parenting time? If so, will the other parent be allowed make up time?
   • What constitutes being ill enough to delay parenting time? Fever? Doctor’s visit?
5. Right of First Refusal: In the event that a parent cannot exercise all or some of their allotted parenting time, the other parent may wish to have the child(ren). This is sometimes called “First Babysitting Rights.” Your parenting plan should specify what constitutes a right of first refusal situation. Such as:
   
   
   • How many hours must the other parent be away before being required to offer right of first refusal?
   • Does right of first refusal apply if a stepparent or grandparent is available to the child(ren)?
   • Who is responsible for transportation during this situation?
6. Vacations: All states allow for extended parenting time in the summer. It is during this time that many parents will want to take a vacation with the child(ren). A parent plan should include provisions for vacations that occur out of state or country. For example: Does the traveling parent need to provide a written itinerary? How far in advance should the other parent be notified of travel plans?
7. Transportation: Depending on each parents’ allotted time, transportation may be shared or be the responsibility of one parent. A well-written parenting plan should include details on all matters related to transportation including, but not limited to:
   
   • Who will provide transportation?
   • If one or both parents are unable to provide, who can substitute? Stepparents, grandparents, significant others (boy/girl friends), family friends, etc.?
   • If parents are sharing transportation, is there an exchange location? If so, how long must one parent wait in case of tardiness on part of the other parent? 15, 30 minutes?
8. Morality Clause: While only a small number of states still have a morality clause that prohibits parents from having overnight guests of the opposite sex in the presence of the children, parents in all states can have such a restriction placed in their parenting plan if both agree to it.
9. Move Away Clause: Most states have a move away mandate that requires certain guidelines for a custodial parent to follow should they wish to relocate with the child(ren) following a divorce. For instance, a custodial parent in Tennessee is required to notify the noncustodial parent if s/he intends to move more than 100 miles away from their address at the time of the divorce while in some states, such as New York, a custodial parent may only move 25 miles without having to notify the noncustodial parent.
10. School, Religion, Extracurricular Activities: A parenting plan should detail if one or both parents will be responsible for the decision making as relates to school, religion and extracurricular activities. It should also detail what will be done in the event that the parents can’t agree (ie, mediation).
    
    Your parent plan should also outline how one parent should approach the other parent about these matters. Is verbal consent okay? Is written notification required? How much time does the other parent have to respond to the request and should be it be verbal or written?
    
    Also, as relates to this matter, it should be specified within the parenting plan that each parent is responsible for getting the child(ren) to any event to which they agreed during his/her parenting time; unless arrangements have been made otherwise.
    
    Tip: A written record is always best. Even if you seem to be agreeable now, issues may arise later that could cause the other parent to deny their verbal notification/consent.
11. Medical: Most states require that major medical decisions be shared by the parents while issues such as treatment of colds and flu can be decided by the parent currently exercising parenting time. Things to consider including in the parenting plan as relates to medical are:
    
    
    • How to notify the other parent of major medical issues? Written or verbal?
    • What is required at time of notification? Records? Summary of Doctor’s visit along with Dr. name and telephone number?
    • Consultation with Doctor required by both parents prior to decisions of major medical issues?
    This is also a good time to decide two very important factors: (1) which parent (or both, if applicable) will maintain medical insurance on the child(ren) and (2) how the cost of medical expenses will be paid. According to guidelines that vary by state, expenses are often divided equally between the parents will others provided for an income ration division. Typically, however, what the parents will agree to, the Court will to accept.
    
    Medical expenses that should be discussed include co-pays, non-covered visits, dental, optical, pharmaceutical (prescribed and/or over-the-counter), psychological, and orthodontia.
12. Discipline: Co-parenting is much easier if parents agree to means of discipline and specify such in the parenting plan. In addition, it should be specified who can issue discipline such as parents, stepparents, grandparents, etc.
13. Contact with Children: Parents need to address the minimum amount of frequency they wish to have with their children. Setting out specific times and methods of communication (ie, telephone, cellphone, email, webcam) keeps children in touch with the parent not currently exercising parenting time.
14. Role of Stepparents: I know that when in the midst of a divorce, the idea of stepparents is often the farthest thing from one’s mind; however, chances are good this issue will arise in the future and is best addressed now. While the role of stepparents has been addressed in previous parts such as transportation, right of first refusal, and discipline, there is another area that tends to have many disagreements; that is, how the stepparent may be addressed by the child(ren). Many parents choose to have a clause placed in the parenting plan that prohibits the child(ren) from addressing a stepparent by any term which includes the following: mom, dad, mother, father, mama, or daddy.
15. Child Support: Most states now use what is called an Income Shares Model, which means that support is based on the income of each parent and the time spent with the child(ren) by each parent. (A few states, such as Illinois, do not yet follow such a model.) Parents must first determine custody and parenting time in order for support to be determined.
16. Taxes: Parents should decide who will claim the child(ren) for tax purposes. As a general rule, the person receiving child support will be the person who claims the child(ren); however, parents can choose to agree on a variety of methods such as alternate yearly or, if more than child, each parent take a specified number of children.
    
    Tip: The IRS will not enforce a court order as relates to tax credits. If the other parent claims a child(ren) they were not allowed to by Order of the Court, the offended parent must seek a contempt claim with family court.
17. Passports: Living in a world that offers such ease of travel, it's become essential for parents to discuss international travel, as addressed in number 6. What seems to be forgotten however is that children can only be issued on passport and therefore it can be with only one parent. Whether your child(ren) does or does not have a passport, this issue should be addressed now.
    
    
    • Which parent will keep the passport(s)?
    • What is necessary for the non-holding parent to have access to said passports? Written request? Verbal request?
18. Steps to Resolve Disputes: Parenting plans should include instructions on the route parents must take to change or resolve disputes about the parenting plan when they cannot reach agreement amicably. A parenting plan should specify whether results will be solved via mediation mediation or by directly filing a petition with the Court. (Some states provide no other option than the two step process: (1) mediation, and (2) if said mediation is unsuccessful, petitioning the Court.
    
    Tip: Make specifications now on who should pay for mediation. Will parents evenly divide the cost, will the costs be taxed percentage wise based on incomes, or will the parent with the initial dispute carry the burden of costs?

A divorce with children can become an ugly, bitter battle when parents don't discuss all the issues involving their kids. A well thought out, much discussed parenting plan can make life after divorce a better experience - for everyone involved.

Parenting Plan Sample Forms by State (Where Available):

This article provides information about the law designed to help users safely cope with their own legal needs. But legal information is not the same as legal advice — the application of law to an individual’s specific circumstances. Although we go to great lengths to make sure our information is accurate and useful, we recommend you consult a lawyer if you want professional assurance that our information, and your interpretation of it, is appropriate to your particular situation.